Avoidance

Well, that ladies, is what I have been pretty good at lately. We had a great vacation filled with lots of walking, lots of smiles and lots of Disney. Luckily for me, aside from the ocean, Disney is my favorite place to be. We did eat like we were on vacation, including me. I told myself I wouldn’t, but I did. The worst that I ate was an entire bag of cotton candy, a candy apple, and a macadamia nut turtle, along with lots of sweet tea. Sweet tea in Maine is just not the same as it is the south.
I have not exercised in 3 weeks and I’m feeling it. Between eating like crap and no exercise, I’m finding myself moody, lacking energy, and just feeling like total shit.
So what am I going to do about it? Well, lately I’m all talk. I literally have to talk myself out get myself pumped up, and then I will do better. I’m pretty sick right now with a sinus infection and also the sweats (ugh), so once that goes away SB and I will start running again. He too as been off the wagon. He is the perfect weight but stills aims to be healthy.
I did call my doctor to push my fill ahead, as I have to start jury duty on the 21st which was the same day as my next fill. So I go on Thursday this week to get my fill, and I can’t wait. One thing about me is I don’t deliberately eat sliders (aside from my Greek yogurt); therefore, I know my food intake will be reduced significantly once I get my fill. I haven’t been drinking my protein shakes because I haven’t been giving 100% to being healthy, i.e. exercising and eating right. The shakes cost too much to drink to then turn around and have a grilled cheese.
Up until today I hadn’t weighed myself in 33 days. I stepped on today and I had a loss of .9 I’m down to 234.1. I don’t deserve to be down even that much, not with the way I have been eating. I am happy I didn’t gain, but I’m not looking at it thinking that I will be able to eat like crap and still maintain once I reach my goal weight. This isn’t just about being smaller it is about being healthy. When I’m eating and exercising both my physical and mental health is so much better. Knowing that, you would think I wouldn’t go down the wrong path like I do.
Why do we hurt ourselves? I’m not an emotional eater so I can’t blame it on any stress I’m dealing with. It is just self destruction/stupidity.
Well, really do feel like shit from my sinus infection and fever so I’m going to end this. I just need to get back in step and I know using this will help me to get there. I will be catching up on blogs this week as well.
Please don’t hold back feel free to tell me to stop fucking up.